Stay Home

TAKING CARE OF EACH OTHER #DeployedChurch

1. The most important thing we can do to stem the tide of this virus, especially since we are in New York, the area hardest-hit, is to stay home! We know how difficult that is. We have heard from some of you about parishioners dying in hospitals and how painful it is not to be allowed to be there to provide what we understand to be “essential services.” Take a deep breath. Pray and remember that this is an emergency situation that will pass. Good people understand the limitations imposed on us in these times and should not hold it against you that “you were not there when my mother died.” Even family members are not allowed to be present as they would wish. Self-differentiation—knowing limitations, respecting boundaries, not taking things personally—is so important in times of anxiety, not just for your own emotional and spiritual health but for those you serve. Now more than ever, our non-anxious leadership, grounded in the timeless love of God, matters and serves as example and inspiration for others.
2. Encourage others to stay home. We know you want to find creative ways to be Church together. And you are doing that! But anything that encourages people to gather, even in ways that seem safe (in outdoor spaces, in cars, etc.), is counter to the wisdom from medical and government leaders. Don’t get ahead of the scientific knowledge. In our Lutheran understanding, respect the two kin-doms.
3. If you are gathering in very small groups (for instance, to record worship), remember to maintain a safe physical distance (six feet, or 1.83 meters), wash your hands after touching surfaces (see the video in this email!), and if you have a cough or otherwise feel unwell, just stay home. Rely on others to provide spiritual encouragement if you are not physically able to do so. For more on this, see the helpful links in our weekly newsletter to churches around our synod that are providing virtual worship (or the services of the word of our synod staff). One of the teachings in this time is that, since we are Church together, we can worship across physical boundaries in new, uplifting, and mutually supportive ways.
4. Finally, do not rely on your faith communities to be your support community. These are hard words to write. There is a healthy relationship among pastors, deacons, and synod deacons, and also with the congregation. In times of anxiety and stress, it is more important than ever for you to lead. Ironically, we are not immune to that stress and anxiety. But your support must come from colleagues (including your bishop), your own spiritual and prayer life, family members and friends, and others who are not depending on the faith and wisdom that we are called on to model in these times. Be attentive to your own well-being. Many therapists and other counselors are available remotely. Take advantage of that. You can find spiritual-practice guidance online, including on our ELCA website. Do something fun! Set limits on your work. When working from home, it’s easy just to keep working, because you are not leaving an office and closing a door. An alert sounds that another email or text has come in; you just want to check the news one more time to see if there are any new developments. Don’t do it. Resist the temptation to feel useless and compensate by overworking. Set a limit and, if you have others living with you, ask them to help you. As promised above, this crisis will end and, when it does, our Lord and our world will need the best we have to give and the best we are. We prepare for that future by the way we live today.